She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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