hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
