On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize