The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
