Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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