You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
