I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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