I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize