you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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