It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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