if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
