the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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