what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
