You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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