Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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