Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
