I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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