In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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