PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
