I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
