pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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