Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
