My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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