We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i will never coherently bang her
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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