I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did i walk over a car last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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