He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
