if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
