I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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