you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
