I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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