I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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