drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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