so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
