hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
