i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
