I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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