we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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