oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
