Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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