Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
