if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
