I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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