Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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