In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
