I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
