this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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