I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is wine microwaveable?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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