I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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