She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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