Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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