I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I cut my penus on the lid.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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