just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
