Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
