i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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