Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
