seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
