I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
only if we run a train.
done.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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