I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize