I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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