marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
