Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
