"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
