you guys were way drunker than both of me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
