he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
